159.5 again this morning.

Went well today except for the insane craving for pizza, then when I finally headed over to 'S's she didn'thave time for dinner so stupid me suggested a burger. So off we went and the 300 calories I'd eaten all day were quickly overshadowed by a cheeseburger, onion rings and a 600 calorie blizzard.

Fuck

159.5lbs this morning!!!! Hell ya!!!!

Now may I never write 16? again. Ever.

Today was fun at the gym. We talked, more bullshitted our way through the hour, enough that we ran over. My poor legs gave out on the leg press, and my triceps had enough with the second exercise. I was just so tired. I don't know why though, but he did joke about me not having enough sleep. I slept fine though, and I certainly ate enough! Perhaps Saturday was too much? Or I need to do way more during the week. Especially for my rotator cuffs.

He also suggested yoga as a way to get more in tune with my body so I may look at that at the gym too. I only saw an intermediate class so I'll find out if I can do that one.

At work I went a little nuts and gave into some cravings. I ate so much maltesers and skittles. My poor body couldn't handle the sugar. I had a headache, I felt sick, I started shaking, couldn't concentrate. It was horrible. I'm hoping I'm less than 1000cals for the day, and when I jumped on my scale tonight I was 160.5, so hopefully that will come off overnight.

Just thinking about it now, I'm less than 20lbs off the goal for the gym. Obviously I want to get lower, but this is what I told 'S' that I wanted to be by January. 20lbs in 4 months really won't be a problem. I mean, I've done 30lbs in 3 months and there's 2 vacations where I went nuts eating.

I'm watching a documentary about a man who is taking a group of residents in a Native community back to their 'original' diet of meat and veggies with no starch or sugars. It's kinda interesting as I've learned a lot about sugars, both natural and artificial.

Thinking of which, dinner at 'S's tomorrow.... Wonder what they'll have? Will I panic? Will I eat it all and just shovel it in? I need to go very light on food all day in case. Take a salad, tea, yoghurt and some veggies to munch on. If I can do less than 200 cals during the day, I can manage 500 or 600 at her house unless I can get away with less. Plus I'll do some weights tomorrow at home to force it.

I'm not going to hit 158 tomorrow, but a 159.0 would be nice!!!!

Will this be the last time I blog anything in the 160's again? I hope so!!! I was 160.2lbs this morning (Finally!!!!) and hopefully I'll get 159.? tomorrow.

I'm not making my goal to be 157 tomorrow morning, but I've still got 3 weeks. That's 3 weeks to hit 150 for San Francisco. 3lbs/week? Gonna take some work and some restraint (like no going nuts like I did today!!!)

I've got dinner with 'S' on Tuesday now, so I hope that I can eat what they make.

Gym tomorrow and then work (boourns) but hoepfully I can eat way less. Take a salad and the soup, and come in at way less than 500 cals, considering I probably hit 1000cals today. Tues, go as long as possible without, and eat a salad as late as possible, then dinner. Gym again on Weds or Thurs....

I obsess. When I shop I walk all the aisles and check out the nutritional information on everything. I think of how good each item will taste, then think of how much I could eat instead, or how long I'd have to not eat if I splurged.

I've got to go see the travel agent tomorrow. The one hotel isn't in the right city, the other one is so dumpy and so full of bad reviews that I'm a little scared.

Shopping at the mall. Grabbed a few new shirts, but tons of stuff didn't quite fit properly. Had some protein shake that tasted a little too chocolate syrupy but only was about 150 cals (I only had half). Bought some sheets on 50% off and they seem so soft. Can't wait to go to bed!!!!

Something is horribly wrong with my laptop. It won't start up, get to windows... I'm a bit freaked out as I haven't updated my backup since before I went to England. I've got a Micro SD card with the concert on it still, but none of the others.

So I'm on the stupid netbook that I can't type on properly.

162.3lbs this morning, not cool. Went to fast and instead I ate 4 candies, one breadstick, a ten calorie soup, then about 100 cals of more soup, 2 rice cakes and a bunch of chips and salsa. I'm hopefully under 300 cals but not low enough.

Gotta hit the gym tomorrow, hoping to put in about 2 hours. Then get the damn computer looked at!!! I hope the hard drive didn't crash coz that would really really really suck.

Goal is not reachable. No way I can lose 5lbs in the next 2.5 days. I just want to see under 160 at this point...

Tired, cranky and this damn keyboard isn't helping issues.

Holy fuck is my laptop slow tonight. I can hear it thinking away, and it has been for the past hour, but I can't find what's desperatly trying to run. It's slowing EVERYTHING down.

I wasn't very sore at all today. A little in the upper arms if I stretched, and I felt a twinge in my legs but that was over quickly. 161.4lbs this morning, not the 160.8 that I needed. If I'm on track I need to be close to 159.7 and considering what I ate today that's not going to happen. I'm just hoping to be under 162 (I was 162.9 when I got home this evening....)

Today was interesting.... 'G' showed up with the treats and promptly began to have a hissy fit as he spilt some coffee and some donuts were spoiled. I splurged and had 2 timbits with my tea, and a yoghurt with my vitamin. And I went from there....

Audit lady showed up shortly after open, almost killing me. I went for the candy as a coping method and ate my fair share. Then, when giving the good results to the team, I stopped in the lunch room and ate a sandwich with processed cheese, mayo, mustard, meat etc. Then ate chips, cookies (at 80cal/cookie... I had about 5 or 6), more chips and to top things off, just a few more chips.

We got some amazing storms later on, it absolutly pissed down. I got caught in the second one and it soaked through my hoodie in seconds. By the time I got to the store I was drenched and cold. My shoes and hoodie still haven't dried!!! The rain was intense, but not too much lightning or thunder.

I thought about hitting the gym later but I had a headache from the amount of sugar and hadn't had enough water (about 1/4 of the amount I'm supposed to) and I may try tomorrow depending on what time I finish driving. Saturday is a must, and if I go Sunday I'll just do cardio. Instead I just did 4 of the basic weight exercises for the arms. If I can get some of those in every day I will hopefully progress much faster with 'S' and strenghten some of the muscles that are stupidly week.

I've hit plateaus before, generally for 3 days. I'll do my best to fast tomorrow and it should kick start things especially as I've eaten too much lately.

Here's hoping.....

161.9lbs this morning. I need to be 157.6lbs by Monday morning. That's 4.3lbs in 4 days for an average of 1.1lbs/day. That's a pretty big number!!! So tomorrow I need to be 160.8lbs.

I ate too much today. We had a work meeting at 'K's house and they all ordered lunch. I went with the spinach salad which was 430 cals (but 21g protein compared to the ceasar which was 400 cals but only 10g protein... About equal fat as the ceasar had cheese, croutons and sauce, while the spinach was egg, bacon bits and feta cheese.) and it came with a piece of garlic toast (sooo yummy). I also had a yoghurt in the morning, a rice cake, and then once I finished at the gym, 3 bites of the desert I've made, and another rice cake... there may have been some chips and salsa involved also. I just wanted to eat.

I'm worried about tomorrow as there's going to be soooo much yummy good stuff available. I'm taking my water, tea and a yoghurt for breakfast, and a rice cake to snack on. I will allow myself a timbit for a treat (chocolate or the yummy strawberry ones) but I can't go crazy. It's a 12hr shift so maybe I do need to take a salad or something.... I need to be less than 400 tomorrow. Then friday the same. Saturday I should go only liquids and hit the gym, with Sunday being an only liquid day too. That should help with the last 4 lbs.... Should I attempt a 48hr liquid diet? How long can I carry it as I do have to go to the gym on Monday morning again. Maybe I should start friday and let myself eat on Sunday night?

We'll see what the numbers do in the morning.

On the thought of the gym.... I'm really enjoying working with 'S'. He makes me laugh (too much at times as I can't hold the weights or my concentration.). My body seems to confuse him, especially the flexibility in my arms (why? Not a clue. I've always had tons of flexibility there, but I could use a bit more in my legs to do stupid things like touch my damn toes) and apparently I have super weak rotator cuffs which makes my shoulders pop and crackle constantly.

I'm trying to get in 20min of cardio on the elliptical before, 1 hr with 'S', then another 15 or so min on the elliptical after. Today the elliptical alone was 450cal, the weights, maybe another 100.

Gotta go sleep, so tired, and got a looooong day tomorrow :(

Yesterday went great... then I worked....

I got up and downed a bunch of water before heading to the gym. Only got about 10 min of the bike in first to warm up, and then an entire hour on arms. I'm grossed out watching my flab on my arms flop around. Even more so when my wonderful trainer had to grab said flab in order to check I was using my triceps. More cardio afterards.

I then proceeded to only have water, tea and a 100cal soup. I felt fine!!! Don't even remember a growl at any point during the day. This morning it was almost a shame to eat, but if I didn't today I won't have energy for tomorrow.

That scale was glorious today. 161.4. My new lw. I then proceeded to celebrate by eating about 1000 calories. I was fine until I got home when I ate about 4 rice cakes, a bunch of salsa and chips, veggies, and then several spoonfulls of the desert I made for work on Thursday. It's sooo goooooood. It's creme cheese, whipped cream, vanilla pudding, and angel food cake all mixed together in creamy deliciousness. As a diversion I made some low sugar jello and ate almost half of that too.

I feel fatter than ever.

I'm terrified what the scales will say in the morning.

I don't want to eat tomorrow.