Going back over the blog today to look at my goals etc. On May 15th I was 187. Today, July 31st, I'm 167. It's taken 2.5 months for me to lose 20lbs. That's what, 8lbs a month? Not exactly steller. I've been generally hoping for 5lbs/week (which if I had managed to hit that I would have lost 50lbs already, and I know that's a little unrealistic.) I've been slacking off on the exercise and I'm worried that a) I'm not dropping the weight in any kind of good way, and b) I'm losing muscle instead of fat. That fat's gotta go. I'm not dying fat, or spending the rest of my life fat. I'm DONE with fat. I'm declaring WAR on my fat!!!!

I'm standing by my goal. 140lbs must be hit, and once that happens, I'm hoping to go down to 125. 140 is only 27lbs away, and I've already dropped 20.

I will:

Do a liquid fast for 24 hours at least once a week. Liquids include teas, vitamin water, juice (calorie dependant. Nothing too high!!!) soup with no pasta, veggies etc, (like chicked broth, tomato...) and no sugar!!!
Exercise at least 3-4 times a week while the weather lasts.
Find a gym for when the weather doesn't co-operate (and during winter!) and keep the last promise.
Set a goal every Sunday to be complete by the next sunday.

In the past 2 months I've gone to England where I ate as much as I wanted, and camping, where I thought about being careful about what I ate, disreagarded that and then drank too much. Trips can no longer be a time to go too crazy. I go to San Francisco in a month. I will eat at certain restaurants, but I will not go nuts. I will either maintain my weight or lose more!

I tried on some old clothes today. I'm finally able to fit into some of them, but not enough. My legs are too big still. It's almost as though everything has come off my stomach, and no where else (though I know that isn't entirely true as I can fit into smaller jeans now.) I want to be wearing skinnies soon!!!!

But it's bed time and I failed horribly at a liquid fast. Well, I didn't go stupid crazy. I had lots of tea this morning, some soup at 90 cals for a very late lunch. Resisted temptation very well while driving tonight, then hit the grocery store for milk. Ended up buying eggs as they looked so yummy and when I got home I made some. For a 1/2 cup of the mix it's 60 cals. I had some marg in the pan with a tiny bit of soya sauce with it after. Overall I think my scrambled eggs cost me about 100 cals (maybe??? somewhere between there and 80 cals). I also downed a half a vitamin water at 50 cals. I'm hoping around 250 cals for the day, and hopefully I hit 165 tomorrow. That was the goal last week.

We'll see....

167.4lbs this morning. Up :( Went for dinner with 'J' and it was cool, but slightly fucked. She's with the man I once loved, and has no idea about the relationship he had with me. Am I over it? I want to be. He will never be mine, but I'm happy he was mine for such a short time.

Managed to eat less than 200 cals today but then came dinner. I had the bread and spaghetti. I'm going to guess about 1000 or so cals? I don't know. The website said the spaghettis only had 400 cals but I really don't trust that... so maybe 1400 or so for the day?

I can't get out to run. I have to work really early (6am tomorrow!) and stop at my friends to check on her cats and I can't go running in the river valley at anything earlier than 5:30 as it's dark. While it's really quite safe from humans in my tiny town, it's the skunks, beavers, snakes, lots of deer, and a variety of other animals I'm worried about. I can't go after work as around 1pm it hits about 30C and it's just too hot. I get dizzy, drink too much water and get cramps while I run for even just a short jaunt. I could try the bike more often during the week, but it's still gonna be toasty!!! I'm going to have to look into gyms in order to get this fat off quicker.

However, I put on my black pants today and they are almost too big!!!! They're hanging off my ass, and baggy around my thighs. Almost enough to need new ones, but I'll wait a bit.

I booked my flight to San Francisco. I need to buy a large 60L pack so I can backpack it around instead of trying to use public transportation with a suitcase. Still a bit nervous about the whole wandering around Oakland bit.... but we'll see how things work out.

Very early morning tomorrow. I really should get to bed....

168.4lbs this morning. Another awesome number. Don't think I'm going to go down overnight as I kinda ate too much today. I managed only 200 cals by the time I got home, then had the pasta and veggies (250 cals) but managed to avoid soup, only to indulge in rice cakes :( Probably close to 700 cals today. Tomorrow could be tough. I'll have breakfast with the boss, hoping to have only tea, whole wheat pancakes and scrambled egg whites (I may see what their apple cinnamon is as it's only 80 cals and cinnamon is supposed to be good for the metabolism). If we end up having lunch I'll suggest East Side Mario's as their italian wedding soup (AMAZING soup!!!) is only 90 cals a bowl. After work I've got piano, then hopefully I can either go for a ride or a run to work things off.

169.5 lbs this morning!

FUCK YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lowest so far!!! Only 5lbs away from what I was 3 years ago, and 20lbs lighter than where I started!!!

That attempt at a fast was amazing. Yeah, it was a bit hard and I don't think I could do it if I sat at home all day. I'd have to go out and stay out. Head off to the mountains or something for a day? I have to do it again, maybe this weekend?

Work was ok, didn't get much done. However, had an AMAZING storm tonight!!! Absolutely incredible. Blows every other storm this year out of the water. Got some cool video and managed to pull of some stills.

The first one is kinda fucked. When the lightning struck it went crazy bright and the crack was almost instantaneous. This one is after the initial stricke and the sonic boom must have done something funky to the camera so I've got a double. The second one is when the bolt struck the second time, a fraction of a second later.

Epic....

This morning I was miserable once I got on the scale. It wasn't pretty and I think it was higher than yesterday! So after a bit of reading I decided to try a fast today.

Some research suggested that going all out on a water fast for the first fast was a little hard core, and to try something like a juice fast for 24 hours first and step it up from there. Considering I'd already had 2 cups of tea, I figured a liquid fast should be ok.

So, by the time I met up with Dad for the airshow I'd managed 2 cups of tea and a big glass of cold water. Downed almost all of my 1L water bottle at the airshow, plus an ice cream, then water and tea now. I've had 2 slices of cucumber (coz it looked so yummy) and a strawberry. That can't be too bad right? The cucumber is mostly water and maybe 10 calories, and the lone strawberry maybe tops in at 8 calories? The ice cream is pissing me off. I checked Breyers site and they don't have the cone I had listed on there, so after looking around, I'm guessing it's about 300 cals.

For the most part today was great!!!!

No ride as I felt super tired, then decided to do the fast, and it was already quite warm at 10am!!! By the time we hit the airshow it was 28C and very hot and sticky. We wandered around, got a look inside an F-18 and found a spot close to the tape on the runway. It was fucked up seeing the charred tail section of the CF-18 sticking up from the ground, in the midst of the blackened grass. You hear about plane accidents, and airshow crashes but this felt a little too fucked, to real. Not just something you see on YouTube or CNN.

We left early coz it was really too hot and getting a bit boring. Crashed on the couch for a while before heading to 'S's house. First time I've had to lie to get out of a meal. Told them that between the excessive heat and cramps I wasn't interested in putting food into my stomach, and proceeded to down water while they ate and watch Simpsons. Her hubby also told me about this website that will accept American shipping orders, then I just take a quick drive down over the Coutts boarder crossing to pick it up!!! Maybe I can get that hoodie!!! (and I'm really excited about the shoes!!!!)

Set up the iPod for tomorrow, watching TV now. I need to go run tomorrow, and maybe have some yoghurt before. I think this will make it a 36hr fast?

Hopefully it works. When I jumped on the scale earlier it said 171.1lbs which would be a new low, but just now I clocked in at 171.4 (.1 higher than my official last LW)

We'll see tomorrow!!!!

172.9lbs this morning. No run as I woke up later than planned and it was already quite warm. I have to go out tomorrow morning though and work off the pizza I ate tonight. Otherwise I'd be below 1000 cals today. I'll have to get up at 9am to go for a 2 hour ride and hopefully around 1000 cals and then eat light all day.

Airshow tomorrow :) Heading down there around 1pm with the family, and avoiding the work bbq after. In somewhat of my defense, I never did officially hear about this supposed BBQ. It was mentionned very briefly by one of my sups but my boss neglegted to tell me and one of the other managers at my level. Me and 'K' are feeling a little out of the loop at the moment, but after the visit this week I wonder if it will change.

After the camping trip I desperatly just want to leave this place and go live in a mountain town, go skiing in winter and riding/rafting/horseback riding/hiking etc all summer. Just have an existance away from all this shit, just be myself, happy, healthy and comfortably surviving.

I'm definatly leaning towards San Francisco for Sept. The tickets came this week in the mail, just plain old boring tickets, not the super cool ones that I had for England. Ordered some new VEGAN shoes online so we'll see how those fit and feel with they arrive. Ordered a new purse too. I'm a bit frustrated I can't get that hoodie but I must have a US address to order it so I either need to find an American to accept and then mail to me, or pick one up when I'm in the US (which I don't trust they'll have in stock).

I do need to buy some new jeans soon as well as mine are starting to wear again :( Hopefully that will be a problem of the past soon.

And it's 1am and all I want to do is stay up and watch Gilmore Girls some more (into season 3 now!) but I've got to go to bed if I want to be on the bike at 9am....

175lbs.

Much better than 2 days ago! Who knew that the 3 days of camping would take me from 172 to 177!!!! It's going to take AGES to get back there, and this time I MUST crack 170!!! I need to be 160 by the Labour Day weekend as I'll be in San Francisco!!!

Still gotta post on the concert, and now on the camping trip.

173.8lbs this morning!!! Good thing too, thought I was hitting another wall at 174.2lbs as I'd been there for 3 days.

Went for a ride this morning, but had to cut it to 30 mins as I slept late. However, made up for it by barely eating for most of the day. Had I not had that soup when I got home tonight I would have been below 400cals. Think I'm at 425 for the day.

Tomorrow I've got an early shift, then a driving shift, so I'm not sure if I'll get out. Depends on how the driving shift goes and when it ends.

I pondered my bonus statement briefly and have purchased concert tickets in San Francisco. Checked into flights, around $500 for a round trip, just gotta look at hotels. Should I go?

So my last post was July 1st and I was sitting at day 2 or 3 at 177lbs.

On July 3rd I managed to break the plateau. I hit 174.8lbs!!

I don't know what it was. 2 of the people at work bought me a hot dog and a coke, which I ate but freaked out internally about. I didn't eath much else, only having an 80calorie soup for dinner. Next morning I'd broken 177. I had a bit of a double take at the number. Down 2.2lbs in one day? How did that happen?

I went for a nice long bike ride, going up and down the hill, and the next morning I was 173.4lbs. This is incredible to the point of scary!!!!

So I splurged a bit yesterday. I made my chicken stew and had some toast with it. Played guitar for most of the evening.

This morning I was 174.6, high but below 175. Hopefully I've eaten little enough today to counter the lack of exercise, but it's pouring/hailing/thundering and 'S' has invited me over to hang out. I was less than 300, maybe close to 250 before I ate my dinner, so add 300-400 on?

Depending on weather tomorrow, either a run in the river bottom or a bike ride around the top.

Here's hoping for less than 174!!!! (Can I do 170 by Sunday? Can I do 165 by the time I go camping?)

Happy Canada Day!!!!



I worked (boooourns) and it was ok I gues.... kinda quiet. Had some issues at the end of the day with visa payments not going through, and I decided to buy some car stuff only to find out I need another part, or buy a new deck. I may just go with the new deck, depending on how much this is all going to cost.



I think I had a good day otherwise. 177.0lbs still this morning, and I only at 300 cals until I got home. The soup and pasta/broccoli mix I had for dinner put me up to 800 cals with a ricecake and some chips with salsa. No exercise as my legs hurt, but I did play around on the drums for a short bit. Just not very coordinated.



Supposed to rain tomorrow. Have to get up early and run :(