Completed :)

I finished the 6K run. It was much easier than I expected it to be, and while I definatly did it in under 43min (or right around that) it felt like no time at all. I ran almost all of it. I did some walking through the water stop as I discovered pretty quickly that it's very hard to drink a cup of water while running, and a bit on the massive hill heading up.

I'm going to hurt tomorrow. My legs will hurt, my hips will hurt and I'm pretty sure my ankles will too. Debating on wrapping them tonight.

I was up today, but only .5lb. I'm sure I"m higher now as while I certainly didn't binge, I ate a lot:

Had tea and water until 2pm.
Yogurt 35cal
Chocolate covered ju jubes (WTF did I even buy them? They were supposed to be a post race treat)
Salad greens with salmon, smushed boiled egg and 20cal ginger soy dressing. I added the egg and salmon for the protein. (300cals?)
Leftover soup (100 cals and I ate the broth with a few of the bits of pasta etc so maybe only 50cals) and a whole wheat bun, another 100 cals.
Post race I ate a bunch of trail mix (salt. Can't have my poor legs cramping/pulling tonight) and some dried fruit, maybe 200 cals.
Went to a friend of my step moms for the post race celebration and ate 3 pieces of homemade pizza (so low fat, thin crust, barely any cheese etc... These are runners!!!LOL) and 2 bits of chips with the homemade bean dip and a glass of white wine. That was probably most of my calories!
I just had a cup of tea to end the night.

I was 148.4 at my parents after the race. I don't want to look now, but I know I will.

I should be happy right? I was 190 this time last year. But I see the photos my Dad sent of me running and I keep thinking that when I dropped to 140 my face was thinner. Now it's chubby again. It's like that 10lbs went all the way to my face and neck. My belly is huge today, I'm hoping that's just water retention, or bloating or something.

Tomorrow I'll head to a friends house for lunch (she invited me over today but didn't tell me what time) and try to eat as little as possible. I stopped eating today around 1130 or so, meaning technically I can't eat till 4pm, but I may just restart it at noon and go until 8pm. Do the yoga and light weights in the morning, and hit the gym on Monday morning.

I want to be 'healthy' and eat properly, work out, gain muscle, do my friend and trainer proud. Instead that little voice in my head tells me it's not good enough, I'm not thin enough, I ate too much, I can do better.

And I keep listening.