Bittersweet Anniversary

I forgot what day it was.

Many years ago, maybe ten, I made a pact with a friend, my best friend at the time. Dustin and I were perfect together. We were typical teenagers, he was the army brat, I was the weird English kid, he smoked, I didn't (he was one of those that I smoked just to hang around.... yeah, not his fault, but that was my reasoning).

He was friends with my other friend at the time and I got to know him that way. He lied, I lied, I whined, he whined. We were 15. At 17 he told me he'd lied to the girl of his dreams about his age and wanted my advice. By then I knew my crush was over and I met Scott.

But we were still friends.

At 17 he got his car and drove pizza. We would drive around together. He taught me to drive his standard car. We did crazy stupid things, like go 2 hrs north to the 'big city' and stay in hotels with friends. I got tattooed. I smoked pot, he liked the smell.

At 18 I moved out of my parents house and he was a constant fixture in the appartment I shared with 2 other girls.

Until he moved.

I remember that night of his going away party. He hugged me, held my hand. Told me he loved me, and I said the same back. I was very very drunk and I cried all night. It was a week before his 19th birthday.

He moved to the coast, a 1 hr plane ride, or a 14 hr drive through the mountains. I flew out once with a friend to visit him and his place was gorgeous. I loved the area, loved being so close to the sea, so close to him. I remember we all got drunk and Cat tried to 'make a move' on him as he had at some point flirted with the idea of dating her (it had lasted a week or so...). Dustin leaned into me, held my hand, cuddled up to me.

He visited a few times before his mom moved out there with his step dad. I called a few times. I remember talking to his mom and she wanted to know why I didn't marry Dustin. I told her that I loved him, but it was something that had never come up, which was partially true.

Time went by and we stopped talking. Distance and new lives seperated us. I heard he joined the army, I heard he moved back to this province and is at a base. I heard that he visits on occasion, each visit becomming more rare. I added him on facebook, but we never exchanged messages.

At some point before he moved we had a converstion. We were joking about those marriage pacts, the ones where people will get married at 40 if they're still single. We didn't want to be married at that age, it was too old to have fun anymore!!! So we made our own pact. We settled on an age that wasn't too old, but so many years away that it would never happen.

Today started the pact. It's been ten years. It's his 29th birthday today.

I loved the brief texts we shared today, made my day. We have a year left, then I'll tease you again and we'll forget about it. There's so much I want to ask you, are you still seeing that girl you told me about many years ago? Are you engaged? How is life in the air force? Are you happy with where you are?

Maybe I'll send you a few messages, maybe I'll call and we can try to catch up. Maybe, just maybe there'll be a flicker of the old friendship and comradarie left. Maybe for just a short time we can forget who we are now and where we've been.

Happy Birthday Dustin.

I've always loved you and always will.