Tired....

Finally finished that book last night. Not sure I like it as it did have some really screwed up twists in it. I've got book 2 but I have to get those books from the library finished as they're due back next Saturday.

Got up on time but still feeling tired. That sleep app told me I slept like shit again. I'm not sure what I should do or if its the cats stomping around. I'm tired the next day regardless of whether I have tea, hot chocolate, water or nothing before hand. It's not the vitamins, or anything else I can think of.

I had a few sips of tea before hitting the gym, late. I got on the treadmill at 9:50am, but ran for 45 minutes and felt ok. Did shoulders, lats, abs upstairs before jumping on the bike for 30 minutes. I figured I've burned about 700-800 calories, and while I didn't have a sub 200 cal day like I had planned, I've had less than 500. Killer there was I grabbed some gummy bears and one of the guys dumped M&M's in my hand so I ate those too. I may have overguestimated but I figured 150cals.

Scale hurt this morning, but it could have been worse. 145.6lbs, but I should drop again by morning, and depending on what and when I eat tomorrow, I should have a lower weight by the time I hit my training session. Right now I'm thinking I will go ahead with the weigh in. I may as well keep it accurate and consistent. I'm just miserable that I did once again what I did last month. I basically sabotage myself right before. I'm hoping that I can finally pass 140.0 with this latest binge though, even though I didn't get much lower than I was last month.

October I had a LW of 141, this month I hit 140.4.... I just screwed it up. It's the weekends that are killing me, I just have to learn control. I can't even have one piece of pizza, one breadstick, one of anything as it will get me going and I won't be able to stop. I can have a treat every once in a while, I just need to plan it and use it as a reward for hitting certain weights.

I've promised a friend to help with their church's tea and bake sale in just shy of 2 weeks. If I can get under 140.0 I will have a treat there, some kind of baked good probably.

Tomorrow will be the new goal setting day and I'll have to do that after Devon heads over to do my hair. We're dying it black again as the brown is starting to show through with the roots and spots where it's been cut short and regrown, and to get rid of the once blue, now green, streaks in it.

Weird shift tomorrow so I'm going to take my gym stuff with me, otherwise I've got 30 min to get home, change and get back to the gym. With the roads worse than they were the day they ploughed them, it'll take me that long just to get home! This way I'll just leave work shortly after I'm off, and then change at the gym. Run for 30-40 min, yoga for an hour, bike for 20-25 min then training.

Food.... Breakfast will have to happen tomorrow. Probably just half an oatmeal as I'll need the warmth ( -28C by morning!) and of course my usual mug of tea. Take a yogurt and salad as usual, and I'm contemplating a banana for the pre gym snack. I need to eat to fuel my 3hr work out, but I don't want to go overboard!!! Should I take my cottage cheese or not?

On a side note, I can't believe how dry it got in a hurry. All of a sudden my hands were sore and raw again despite lots of lotion. I always get tons and tons of lotions for Christmas and while I love my Lubiderm lotion I have to start going through this other stuff to use it. The udderly smooth stuff works, but damn does it smell. I've got some glysomed and some AMAZING avon stuff that I don't want to use up any time soon! There's a ton of perfumed stuff that I'll use last, coconut, mandarin, mango etc.

I gave my healthy eating plan to one of the gals at work and she took it to her doctor. He said it was right on, and she would definatly get healthier and lose weight with that plan. It's pretty much the plan I'm supposed to be following but refuse to. There's no way I can eat 1200 cals per day, even though I binge well over that frequently. My mind just won't allow me to eat that.

As much as I don't want tomorrow to happen, I'm kinda excited!!!

And soooo tired.....