Celebrations!!!

Today I celebrate one year of being a non-smoker. One year ago today I quit smoking (with Champex) and I haven't had one since. Oh I've craved, but never caved (to nicotine at least. There's definatly been some weed involved!). I never did get the cough, or the coughing up chunks of all the shit in my lungs. It's either stuck in there, or I didn't have much to begin with (considering I smoked for 11 years, not bloody likely). But now I've hit this day I can finally stop thinking about it and get on with my nicotine free life.

Today was a wierd day. I think it's been really good overall, but some it felt really bad, really sad, and really good.

I got up 15min late, and still got to work on time. Got into a pissing match with one of our delivery companies, then found out that the other delivery had parked their semi in front of the bay doors and when he tried to move it HE BROKE DOWN!!! WTF!!!! So after a half an hour of freaking out he managed to get it going, so we could get the work vehicles out of the bay, and he could unload in the warehouse. Got a bunch of paperwork done, a bunch of prep work for the big day, and then I was done.

My back has been bugging me all day so I did run out and buy one of those pillows which seems to help in the car. Also, despite some serious cravings, I didn't cave and ate what I took to work. One of the gals bought me a diet Pepsi, so I guess that was a treat for the day as I don't usually have it.

As I was getting ready to leave I saw Scott walk by. I haven't seen him in ages, at least a year, probably 2 years? His hair is longer again, and he's definatly got a gut on him now, but damn he still makes me smile to see him. I ran up to him and we chatted briefly. I mentionned Tom's name and he seemed to relax a bit. I felt kinda sad, but not as bad as I used to which made me miserable. I do miss him. I probably always will, but it's not nearly anywhere close to what it used to be. He was mine for a while and i'll never forget that, but we've both moved on and this is the first time I've seen him and realised it.

Got home, changed and headed to the gym where Shaun asked me if I was going to 'kill myself' today. I just got on a treadmill. About 15min later once he had finished with his client he jumped on the open treadmill beside me to chat..... which is tough at 5.2mph (yeah, slow, but I'm getting there.) He was concerned about me being there too long, and if I was taking a class, and if I had something to eat with me so I don't crash later. Of course I didn't have anything to eat, and told him I'd be fine (inbetween gasps) so he left saying he'd see me in a few hours.

For some reason that made me sad all over again. Something to do with how Tom doesn't really want a relationship per say, and how mine and Scotts relationship fell apart, and how Shaun expressed concern for me and all I'm doing is pushing myself further than I should and going against the advice and training he's giving me. I just ran, staring straight ahead, tunes blasting, trying to focus on everything other than bawling my eyes out.

Core was great, only 3 of us and the instructor and we did so many situps. My abs are going to be on FIRE tomorrow!!! I couldn't even get through one of the planks they were burning so good. Jumped on the elliptical for 20 min before Shaun showed up.

Despite my spaciness at the beginning we managed to pick things up right away. Lively conversation and lots of laughter helped. Arms day and I got to do the proper bench press without the guides using the olympic bar. That was cool, even if I am a little wobbly (its the balance thing....) He apparently searched me out on Facebook and tried to add me, but I didn't recognize the name so I ignored it. All good now though! I even got a card at the end.

Home to shower and have italian wedding soup (mmmmmm), then onto wrapping gifts. I stopped when I ran out of wrapping paper and now here I am, a half a cup of cold tea, 1230am and I have a crazy busy day at work tomorrow.

Today started off pissy, turning to contentment then sadness, frustration and perhaps a bit of anger. I had a lot of laughs at the gym, which continued later on when I updated my facebook status and someone had to make a few comments. Now, I'm ready to hit the hay, get some rest and get ready for tomorrow.

Speaking of which. I skipped breakfast today, had a yogurt later on, salad, cottage cheese, soup and some rice cakes. I've had 525 cals today, not bad overall. Tomorrow I want to have my oatmeal as it will be probably a big day, with tea. Start work around 9am and have my salad, yogurt and take some snacks (rice cakes etc) for later. I'm sure there will be TONS of candy so I will taste a few things, a sample here and there if you will. I'll be off around 730pm so I can come home and relax, have my soup and tea, clean the house or play some rockband. I could even get caught up on all the movies friends have left me!!!

I was 143.8 this morning. I wanted to be 143 by morning and I think I'm already under that. On track for Christmas!!!!

Wander: Your tattoos sound cool!!! You should post pics!! I wanted to do a tattoo right behind my right ear, was thinking some musical notation but I haven't decided. Dreads? That's too cool. I would give up my fauxhawk for dreads but I have no idea where to begin with them. I'd want the real ones, not the extensions.