To Fast Or Not To Fast

That is the question.....

I was 142.5lbs this morning. I was ok with that number. I had to be 142 by tomorrow morning to stay on track, and it was totally doable if I stayed good today.

Yeah, not so much. Once at work I started with a croissant, followed by a muffin, sandwhich, chips, donuts, chocolate, gummy candy, more chips, cookies, 3 or 4 slices of cheese pizza and more!!! Then when I got home I figured seeing as I had already fucking pigged out, the leftoevers from yesterday wouldn't be too bad so I ate all the veggies, a tiny piece of potato and a bite or two of turkey..

I'm 147.9 fucking pounds right now.

Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck....

That's 6lbs over what I need to be by morning. It's gonna be really hard to drop this!!!! I have to lose 13lbs in just over 3 weeks.

I want to fast tomorrow. If I do, it would have to end by noon on Tuesday as I have training that evening. But here's my thought. If I get up around 8 or 9am, have a cup of tea and then an hour later hit the gym (if I can be there by 10 or 11am, preferably 10am!) Have only water while I'm there, do running, legs and the spin bike around 2hrs total. Home and shower with another tea for work. On my way to work grab a smoothie from Safeway, one of those that are like 450cals but if that's all I'm having I'll be ok. During my shift I'll have that, vitamin water, and regular water. I guess I'll take a yogurt and the salad I didn't eat today in case I crash. I'm 230-11 so it may happen!!! I work at 9am on Tuesday so possibly oatmeal or yogurt before work unless I feel fantastic that morning.

My issue is that I enjoy fasts and the last few I did back in early Nov, and Oct, I ended up gaining back very quickly after. Maybe I should just try and see what happens.

I want to be below 146 tomorrow morning, and hopefully I can drop below 144 by Tuesday. I would really prefer to be below 140 by Jan 1st and if anything this ridiculous overeating will help me drop it quickly.

My back hurts, my stomach hurts, my feet hurt. I feel fat and disgusting. I'm going to bed, reading and trying to forget today happened.