Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow

Life creeps this petty pace...

So much work over the past few months and it all comes down to tomorrow.... Kinda. We finished setting up the store for Boxing Day today and helped all those last minute shoppers. It didn't go as well as last year, not enough people scheduled after close and the later start really hurt us.

I get tomorrow off, then the madness begins. We have the Boxing Day sale that is mental, insanely busy followed by the same sale the next day but not so busy. We start accepting returns the following day and before you know it it's January, time to do all the callbacks and get ready for another inventory. Christmas will be over and it will be the rest of winter.

It just feels like we work for Christmas and then go into recovery, before Christmas starts up again. Life has turned into the 'same' despite the ups and downs. Instead of the routine of school, with the constant change of a grade, this is routine, without much change year to year. I know this is silly considering the change that's happened at work in the past year and the change I will go through in the coming year.

Silly, just me reflecting over the past year and year to come. I hate new years resolutions but I do have things I want to accomplish...

Today, well it was Christmas Eve. Candy, cookies, goodies and chocolates all around. I ate a half a box of Pot of Gold, several cookies in the lunch room, half a Funky Monkey Booster Juice, a salad, oatmeal, tea, soup, rice cakes..... It's been a crazy day.

I managed 141.3lbs this morning, so that's below the 142 I had as a goal. Only problem is I don't have much wiggle room. Due to my pig out on 5 Guys, I have to maintain 142 over the holiday, and begin to drop again on the 28th. I don't have another gym session until Dec 28th but I should be able to hit the gym on the 27th. Today I had no time. Tomorrow.... it's Christmas. I'd like to take a day off. Boxing Day will be mental enough without trying to add exercise on top of my 12 hr work day. I'm thinking a very restrictive diet after the holidays!

Tomorrow!!! Get up at 7-730am. Shower, go shoot up my friends cats (they're diabetic) and head to my parents for a bit before 9am for breakfast. I'm looking forward to coffee, scrambled eggs, and will enjoy a piece of bacon cooked very crispy, and a sausage. Gifts will follow ( yaay!!! can't wait to see what my Dad thinks of his!!!) then we get kicked out until later. I'm not sure what will happen but as I got nothing done at home tonight I should come home and clean as I won't have time next week. Then back to Dad's for dinner, and home for bed.

For food? If I restrict I will binge. I need to eat sensibly. I need to eat as though my trainer is there watching me and will approve of what I'm eating. I will have a sample of the treats, some of my sisters delightful dip, some of my uber healthy salsa, a handful of the pistachios that my step mom will have out. I will have some turkey, gravy, a potato or two and a ton of broccoli, sprouts and carrots. I will take some Christmas cake home and maybe have a slice. All the candy i'm almost guaranteed to get I will have a piece of, and then put in my car. Along with any other leftovers it will be disposed of either into the garbage, or taken to work and given to someone.

After the last holiday I gained 5lbs in one day. I know Boxing Day will hurt me too so I can't go too crazy. I know I will lose it, I just don't want to waste those days of losing the crap I eat this week instead of getting below this bloody 140 line.

All I want for Christmas.... is for my mind to take a break. I want to enjoy tomorrow without trying to purge, without panicking as I ate too much, without trying to count every calorie I eat and then when I'm over my 'limit' saying fuck it and completely over doing it....

Is that too much to ask?