Where To Start?

Today has been a bit crazy. Just all over the place. I'm not sure where to start, or where my thoughts end. I couldn't sleep last night so maybe that's what is screwing with me. I laid there for a while, nodded off, then woke up again. I posted some shit on facebook, had my trainer respond and then continued a game of scrabble with another friend... all at 2am.

My alarm went off at 8am to go to the gym, but I was tired so I kept sleeping for another half an hour until my old boss shot me a text asking if I was up for a chat. I'd fired her that email last night frustrated about my current boss and how he was treating me and other staff. We chatted for at least a half an hour and I felt much better, but still frustrated. She told me to talk to my HR gal but I dislike and don't trust her. I said I'd think about it.

I headed to work, picking up a medium black coffee as a treat along the way. Jumped into the office and while I did work for most of the day, I also did a lot of pissing around, on my phone, talking, bitching, just wandering. Towards the end of my shift my boss did call me and tell me he wanted some time with me tomorrow, a half hour or so. I told him it wasn't fair of him to ask me that as I would stress all night so I badgered him into telling me. I swore I wouldn't tell anyone, but the request to move is going to happen tomorrow. It's much sooner than I wanted, as they will ask for me to be up there by Sunday. I'm not sure how this is going to work out, so we'll see what the details are tomorrow.

This is all stressing me out. I want this, I really do, there's just so many 'buts' in there too! I'm nervous about living with my friend. It will only be for 5days a week for at max 2 months, but I won't be able to control as much what I eat, or when I eat. Though I began to think that if I pretend I'm working long days I can pretend I'm eating at work, and hitting the gym instead. I could theoretically drop a fair amount of weight if I play my cards right....

I'm going to miss my privacy. I love her two little boys, my nephews, but I like my 'alone' time as well. I think I will drive back every Friday and go back up there every Monday or Sunday night. That was I can still train with Shaun every Saturday and drive those nights too. Plus there's the packing I'll have to do and I'll enjoy being in my own bed.

I need to stop thinking about this and wait until tomorrow to find out details without having to speculate.

Today went well. I've not eaten anything, just liquids. I had tea, coffee, water, vitamin water, my Berry Boost juice, the last of the mocha one, more tea and a low cal hot chocolate. I did have half of the light tomato soup for 84cals but I count that as a liquid. I could never do a water fast I don't think. I just couldn't deal with my stomach.....

All in all 508 cals (it was those damn juices... but if they do the job, they're worth the extra cals).

Tomorrow I have to be up and at work by 5am.. a mere 5hrs and 48 min away. Tea and maybe a coffee will be the order of business for the morning!!! I will work until my chiro appt at 8:40am, then I have nothing until my massage at noon (so looking forward to that!!!). Noon till 1 is the massage, and I want to be at the gym by 2. I will need to eat something by noon, and then something else after 1. Maybe a yogurt? some salad? Not sure yet. I also drive tomorrow and am really tempted to get one of those dinner boxes as a treat. I'll work till 10pm and maybe if I don't snack all shift I will get the dinner box and have some mac and cheese. Just a bit. Maybe. Maybe I won't and I'll get even lower. Yeah....

Fuck.

Going to a friends house on Jan 1st for dinner so maybe I should save my 'binging' for that day.

C'mon morning... lets leave 140 behind and never touch it again in 2011!!!!