Another Day

Slept in by 20 minutes, hair wouldn't co-operate, traffic was bad, still managed to get to work with moments to spare. Work was work again. I got some stuff done but I just was more interested in chatting and checking shit on my phone.... I have to stop that. Tomorrow needs to be a work day. I have a giant list of shit to do and it's not going to get itself done.

One of the big bosses was hanging around in the store today. Guess I'll have to get used to that with them all living here. Anyways, we went for coffee at Starbucks and I was going to get a black spiced tea but saw the skinny caramel machiatto so I had one of those. Only drank half, so about 80cals. Around 3pm I ate my lunch and he made a comment about why I left it so late. I did notice when I went to the bathroom that my pants are beginning to look excessively large on me. They are the same pants I wore when I was 190 (but as everyone constantly tells me I carried it well) and I just can't be bothered to go buy more if they're talking about changing the uniforms in the new fiscal year. However, if it will stop comments like that I may need to go buy pants that are perhaps a bit snugger.

Gym after work. It's so warm in the cardio area. I only ran for 20min and I could feel my calves and hamstrings tightening. Went to the womens area and did biceps on the machine and the spreader and stretcher as Shaun so delicatly puts it. I could feel my hip complaining very loudly one the pushing one so I did have to stop a few reps shy. Hit the leg press but I can't remember the weight. I could have put more on though. Then spent some time doing abs. Went 'home' after as I was hoping to see the kids but they were already in bed. After a shower I ate soup, then licorice, some candy, chips and salsa (only 6 or so), a small cookie and a rice cake... I feel like I binged but there is no way I ate more than 600cals all day. Perhaps on the bright side there will be enough in me to fuel my day tomorrow!!!

I was 139.6 before bed. I was 138.2 this morning. I am hoping to remain 138.5 or less by morning. Going to take the Zumba class tomorrow which is at 7pm. I need to hit the gym by 6pm at the latest. Do some light cardio then some weights before being at the class by 6:50 or so. Soon as the class is done, home and shower. I am sure I will end up eating the rest of that soup but if I stay downstairs I shouldn't eat too much. That's my issue, I'm in the living room surrounded by the snack plates and watching TV. Downstairs I have my laptop, book, kettle and tea... yeah there's snacks like rice cakes, but less likely to go mental on rice cakes than cookies!

Tired. Legs are tired, arms are tired. Back hurts, I just want to be at home. I miss my gym, I miss my cats, I miss my TV, my candles, my yoga class, my core class.

And in my mind I can hear a voice saying use this, use this to starve.......