Here We Go Again...

And I find myself in the same damn place again.... Fat. Eating. Screwing up my plans. No self control. No will power. Lazy. Useless.



I managed to get to around 8pm. I had a tea, water, vitamin water, the berry smoothie (240cals) and a black chai tea from Starbucks. On the way home I picked up a diet Pepsi as I was getting very drowsy on the drive, and a flavoured water (10cals). I got home, changed, and made soup at 9pm (beef vegetable. 80cals and almost all broth).



Then all hell broke lose. I ate a bag of 100cal popcorn, with about 200cals worth of Nutella, several rice cakes, a fruit leather, cereal, chips and salsa and a ton of licorice.



Its midnight and I weigh 142lbs. I was 140 this morning.



I can't belive I was 137.9 4 days ago.



I have 14 or so days until the weigh in (depends on how my days off work). I HAVE to be 135 by then. I can't keep this same damn goal over and over and over again.



Tomorrow: Tea for breakfast then half of one of the protein smoothies before the gym, half after. Vitamin water and water are in order for the rest of the day. Heading out with Jason in the evening, probably a movie. I will have diet pepsi, and some popcorn (if he buys candy, I'll steal some!) But THATS IT!!!! And NO pigging out!!! Have a handful or so before the movie, put the popcorn on the floor, and pick it up again when it gets into the movie.



Sunday: All liquids. I told Stef I'd be back around 8pm, late enough to miss dinner. Tea, water, maybe a juice if I must.



Monday: Salad for lunch and yogurt. Water, tea and juice. Gym in the evening.



Basically stay the same for the week. Mostly liquids with a healthy helping of salad and yogurt to keep things going. If I can handle that all week I should drop the 5lbs or whatever it's going to be. I may even get lower if I stick to it, and the workouts.



Could I hit 125 by my birthday in March? 15lbs in 2 months... bit of a stretch considering the last 2 months, but I need to focus!!!