The Offer

Wasn't expecting it today, knew it would be coming, but not sure what form it would take. I won't be tied to a store, they're 'creating' a job for me, but I'll still be coded the same. I will get to travel around to the different stores and help them with their processes etc. Basically something that I would love to do as a permenent job. It's a fantastic opportunity. Then when the new store opens, I would be once again tied to a store, and hopefully it will be the new store.

It's what I wanted....right?

I keep thinking on what I will miss. I'll miss my house, my cats, my fireplace. I'll miss being on my own (I'll have to have a roomate... too expensive otherwise), watching TV whenever I want or having complete quiet.

I'll miss Shaun and seeing him at least twice a week. I'll miss his humour and his uncanny ability to make me laugh regardless of how shitty a day I'm having. I'll miss the gym, how it's not super warm like the gym here, and the classes I wont' be able to take anymore.

I'll miss my store, and the people there. I'll miss the way the light POURS in during fall and spring, blinding everyone. I'll miss looking out of the front window and seeing all the way to the mountains, watching the sun go down on a crisp winter evening.

I'll miss Shannon and her son, hanging out at her place having a good laugh. I'll miss driving on the weekend, hanging with the guys there and the extra cash it brought in.

I'll miss my home.

But....

The gym here has a pool. I love the Zumba class and the body blast isn't too bad. I like Maya, the instructor. I like how it's 24/7 so I can always get a workout if I can get my ass up early enough!

There's more opportunity here. The challenge will be amazing, it will totally get me the cred I need to move on and get into CHQ. I will get to 'expand my horizons' in ways I never could back home.

I will still see Shaun. I've sent him a few messages checking if things would still be cool and while things will change, I'll still have him as my trainer.

I'll still having camping with Shannon, like we did the last time I moved up here. Once I move out of Stephs place our relationship will go back to a friendship instead of a wierd 'roomate' feeling where I keep to myself and she 'mothers' me or at least attempts to. I'll stop feeling like I'm constantly on the go and can settle down.

I said yes of course to the offer. At this point I can't say no, but I'm not sure I would anyways.

Today, started off great. I ate properly, felt famished by noon and ate lunch. Then by 3pm was STARVING. I ended up buying a bean burrito (GMO Free of course) , chips and chocolate and had a good ol' pig out. I hit the gym a bit full, and then went to a natural store (had a hard time as their labels don't indicate nutritional content other than ingredients and no GMO certification) where I bought more food to munch on. I was 140.9 this morning, post tea I was 142.5lbs. I just want to stay under 141 for tomorrow.

I think this week I will 'take off' due to the change in diet. By that I mean no charts and no goals to lose. I just want to stay 139-141lbs. If I can hang there until Monday I should have quite succesfully stabilised my metabolism.

And then we'll see where that goes.

I feel amazing right now (well, not right now. Right now I still feel full....) but I feel strong and full of energy. I'm still jazzed by the numbers from yesterday, the 3lbs of muscle gain and 1lbs fat lost. However, in the back of my mind I keep thinking that 135 will just look so much better, and will be a low weight. It will be the lowest since I was a teenager. Next one would be around 127-129 and I think I was that when I was 12 or so. I think Shauns fat measurement had me at 21.3% even though my scale is way higher than that. I want to get into that 'lean' category which I think is in the 20% area. I just don't want to sacrifice muscle.

I want to see how this eating and exercising will help. If I continue to drop this week, I can only imagine what I will do next week without the junk food in there too. Plenty of fresh foods coming up!!! When I go home I'll have to make a chilli or something and freeze it. Plenty of protein in there!!!

Damn, I feel better now. Calmer, ready for bed.....