Making the list the night before seems to be helping. I've stuck to it 2 days in a row!

Slept in a bit this morning so no yoga, but didn't have to deal with the hair seeing as it was still in perfect fauxhawk position when I woke up!!! Work sucked. I was just so exhausted for the first little bit, however I now have a car starter installed!!! I always said I would never get one, but I'm fed up of freezing all winter long and that was with an extra 40 or so pounds of fat.

I waited until 1pm to eat the salad as I needed the boost by that point. The yoghurt was eaten around 3:30, and I only managed 3-4 cups water by 5pm when I left. Once home I had the cottage cheese and cucumber mix before trying to crash on the couch for 30min. Didn't work too well so I headed out to the gym. Ran for 18mins on the treadmill, 1min more than last time. I should be able to do 20mins tomorrow.

For training we were going to finish up arms and do the back also, but on the first exercise he decided to concentrate on how my shoulder joints liked to click, and snap loudly. We tried a variety of things, including him poking me and putting tension on my joints while I continued to haul on the weights. They don't hurt when they snap but he thinks it's something to do with the stinkin rotator cuffs. However, all of that pansying around meant we didn't get to the back, which was probably a good thing. Doing the bicep curls we went to 12.5lbs, then down to 10, 7.5, 5 then doing a different machine. Once back to the bicep curls, my arms weren't burning, but I was tired. I knew I was kinda quiet and not chatting or laughing as usual, I just felt so tired. When we finished for the day we went to the office where we booked a few more appointments and I tried not to fall asleep. I could feel my eye lids getting heavy and he joked about me going home and going to bed. He asked when I ate, I said 430, but it was actually closer to 5... he said that was too long, so go eat then bed and to have a good night.

I couldn't even go upstairs to do some more cardio, I was just so weary. Grabbed my sweater and went to chill in my car. Grabbed milk, cottage cheese, soup and resisted the bread at the grocery store, then came home. After showering had veggies with black bean sauce (yummy!!! and only 10cals!!!) then eggs, plus a rice cake.

I ate 600 cals, maybe a bit over, and burned 175 on the treadmill (not including the training session) so around 400 total. I was 147.2 this morning, thank goodness, but I need to lose another large number tonight.

For the numbers, I'm under the 5lb plan by 0.2lbs. Finally getting somewhere! I'm over the 10lb plan by 1.2lbs but if I lose 1.6lbs today I'll hit the goal tomorrow. Not going to happen barring a miracle, but if I keep pushing like the past 2 days I should hit it friday morning at the latest and be back on track finally. The numbers are going down again. Only 2.6lbs over the goal for 15lbs. Down from 4.1. I can do this.

I'm trying not to think to far ahead for food. Can't focus on the weekend or on the family dinner. Just one day at a time.

Tomorrow, tuna on the salad again, with yoghurt. I'm working a later shift so I'll probalby have an extra yoghurt with me for the morning. Salad is 85 cals, tea is 10cals, 2 yoghurts at 35 each, puts me at 165 by 530pm. I need to hit the gym after, hoping for around 630 to be there. Run for 20 mins, light weights on arms and some leg work, then elliptical. Try for 90min, then home to shower and eat. For dinner, thinking italian wedding soup for 120cals and veggies with bean sauce again, with popcorn as a snack. 330 total there, so overall 500 cals or so. Plus what I burn.

Eggs have to be eaten by Saturday, so I'll eat some on Thursday night, and if there's some left finish them on Sat morning. Thursday is going to be busy. Got the PDG, then Chiro at 520, then gotta hit the gym to warm up and then core at 630. Going to have to take the gym stuff with me on Thursday. Also not sure on what's happening for lunch, depends on how the visit goes.

This all seems crazy. My entries have gotten so long, but this is the shit that's in my head. These are the conversations that I have with myself so why not put them down here.

So tired, read then bed.....